The adoption process moral pedestal

November 7, 2012 3 Comments

UK adoption process moral pedestal

The adoption process has changed me in one way at least.

No longer do I hang my head in shame as I walk past the high street charity workers claiming that my five pounds can save a life. Instead I elect to clearly say no, without remorse.

I can happily watch Children in Need guilt free, without feeling the need to pick the phone up and divulge my credit card details.

This adoption process has (rightly or wrongly) given considerable boost to the feeling that my contribution to society has allowed me to stand proud at the summit of my moral pedestal.

Admittedly fate has played its part, but I still feel an enormous sense of pride that I will be helping society by sharing my home with someone who may could well have been deemed a lost cause in two or three years’ time.

It is of course, much more that that. The uk adoption process is a journey like no other, and brings the rawest of emotions to the surface, whilst enabling lost souls like myself, to come back from the brink, and achieve their dreams as well as lending a helping hand to society.

I am not just opening my home to a stranger. My wife and I are cultivating love for someone desperately in need of it. A person whose start in life was much less fortunate that our own.

Does the adoption process allow me to judge?

Is it that my adoption story sees me sit on the moral high ground pouring judgement down upon those of you who haven’t adopted – shame on your having your own children, the fires of hell await?

Or I could opt to patronise you and say that ‘not everyone is cut out for adoption’.

No of course that isn’t my view.

I did hear a woman on the radio exclaim rather rambunctiously that everyone who has their own children is selfish, but that was the bitter rant of a petty and jealous soul who clearly has not reconciled her own loss of infertility, and quite genuinely I pity her, but I certainly don’t share her view.

My life in the last three years has twisted and turned, and I am today who I am because of that journey and that is simply the way the adoption process is put together. Yes I am proud to be adopting, and no I am not bitter about not having children naturally, but it has taken a lot to reconcile the loss.

Lest I forget, this whole thing started because I couldn’t father my own children, not because I am the new saviour of children in care. It isn’t a ‘last resort’ either though. As the adoption process fills more of my life, the greater the realisation that this was meant to be.

So my adoption pedestal helps me hold my head high, and saves me a few quid, but it is not license to bark my pseudo new moral army of beliefs at people.

Besides, I will still start blubbing when Wogan gets going on Children in Need

To join me in donating to Children in Need please click here


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About the Author:

Andrew is an adoptive father, and stay at home dad. Having adopted his son in January 2013, he is a new adoptive parent, but well versed in the adoption process. He is a married, coffee drinker, Xbox addict, and a Marketing graduate. Andrew McDougall is an alias he uses to protect the identity of his adopted son.

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  1. Some Quotes and the Summit of the Moral Pedestal | The Life Of Von | July 29, 2013
  1. Lee H. says:

    I would guess that you love this child that you have adopted…but as an adoptee and adoptive mother I am completely dismayed and a bit disgusted at your article here…do you really think this is about you?

    I hardly think you are “well-versed” in the adoption process…I have been adopted for 47 years and have been an adoptive mother for 11 and even I am not “well-versed”. I have learned a lot…I have been through a lot, but I will never be well-versed enough.

    I think you need to step off your pedestal and make it about this child you have the privilege to raise.

  2. Yeah, well, you are in good company.

    I think you misunderstood what I meant about the adoption process, but a few people have taken exception to this post.

    Thanks for leaving a comment.
    Andrew McDougall recently posted..UK Adoption: 8 of the biggest challenges for adoptersMy Profile

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