Another 7 must-know tips for when your adoptive children move in

July 14, 2013 2 Comments
adoptive children

Image credit: Horia Varlan | Flickr

These great tips are a follow up to my previous 7 tips for when adoptive children move into a new home. They are a combination of my own experience and that of other adopters. Please comment below if you have any further tips.

Purchase expensive items from eBay

This is another general tip, which could be used by any new parent. We bought an outdoor slide which retails at around £300, for less than £80 on eBay. We also got hold of a push chair worth something like £500 brand new, for less than £30. It is great for these sorts of things.

You can visit eBay here

Remain predictable

This is a general tip relating to Theraplay and attachment. Routine is a major tool for adoptive parents, so when you throw in a bombshell trip to the zoo, don’t be surprised when your adoptive children react in a negative way. Adoptive children need reassurance, routine, and simple fun. If you are going on a trip to the zoo, for example, try building them up to it, so they can expect it.

Model appropriate behaviour

Often my wife and I find ourselves modelling the things we want our boy to do himself. Sometimes telling your adoptive children isn’t enough; you need to show them how to do it. This has worked wonders for us. He is at the age of copying what I do, so I have to be pretty disciplined.

Play Peek-a-boo

This is another Theraplay technique used for a certain age group of children. It is a regular game in many a household, but is a wondrous game for adoptive children, allowing them to form a bond with their parents whilst playing.

Don’t compare your child’s development milestones to other children

First of all, every child is different. At the age of two, I was as good as mute, but running around like a headless chicken. My brother at the age of two, was chatting incessantly, whilst remaining on his bum. In addition to this, many adoptive children are developmentally behind. They have not had the same opportunity to learn as their peers, so should be treated as their developmental age, not their physical age. It doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t catch up.

Don’t give your child medicine in the high chair

This was recommended to me by Vicki from the boy’s behaviour. It simply means that if your adoptive child takes exception to being given medicine, they may form a negative association with their high chair, if you administer medicine whilst they are sat in it. This could well have an adverse effect on their food intake in future years.

Be wary of celebrating big birthdays and holidays

Christmas may well be a happy time for you. It may not be for your adoptive children. It could have been that they were removed from their birth parents over Christmas, and so this time forms a very negative and sad memory for them. Also, over excitement is often a recipe for disaster – Sally Donovan advised me on this for my holiday post.

That is it for my ‘post move-in’ tips. If you are about to welcome an adoptive child into your home, I wish you good luck, and hope these tips have proved useful.

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About the Author:

Andrew is an adoptive father, and stay at home dad. Having adopted his son in January 2013, he is a new adoptive parent, but well versed in the adoption process. He is a married, coffee drinker, Xbox addict, and a Marketing graduate. Andrew McDougall is an alias he uses to protect the identity of his adopted son.

Comments (2)

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  1. Jody Dyer says:

    As always, you write with tender respect for adopted children. Thanks for the great tips in this and the other articles!

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