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Forced adoption? Post response to Kellie

November 24, 2013

Kellie took the time to provide a comment on one of my posts here. Having investigated a little bit, I found out that Kellie is subject to a court order apparently preventing her from speaking about the removal of her children from her care.

She is diligently looking to expose her situation to the wider public and make people aware of what she calls ‘forced adoption’.

In her comment to me she has implied that adopters are part of the problem with forced adoption, and as she has declared war on social services, we as adopters, are also firmly in her crosshairs.

I do not have all the facts of her case, and can provide no insight as to the truth behind her case. I can and have, however, taken exception to her targeting adopters as potential scapegoats for the removal of her children.

My response…

Thank you for your comment, it is nice to see a birth mother comment on my site rather than an adopter. I do however feel the need to address some of your comments.

First of all, I am not sure why you are concerned about the amount of sites that support adopters? That is like saying there are too many hospitals. What may be of more concern is the lack of sites that are aimed at birth mothers, and I would actively encourage people like yourself to set up blogs and websites that can help and support birth mothers/parents/families.

You are right about abuse and children in care – it is very rare. I can assure you however, that adoptive parents are made acutely aware of this fact from the very beginning of the adoption process. We have access to a litany of resources that help us understand how and why children end up in the care system.

You mentioned that social services are ‘out of control’. Social services do not consist of a horde of child catchers desperate to separate children from their loved ones. They are individuals tasked with an incredibly difficult job to provide care for our most vulnerable citizens – our children. I wonder if you are fully aware of what it takes to remove children from their homes? I suspect you don’t fully understand how complex and difficult it is to raise a case for removing a child.

You will be aware of course, of Baby P, and Daniel Pelka, both of whom died as a result of NOT being taken into care. Social services have to provide a judge with a water tight case to remove children, and the process is littered with red tape – so much so – that every so often a child will die as a result. Social services are most certainly not out of control, they are faced with heart breaking decisions every day, decisions that you and I cannot possibly fathom completely.

You have stated that children were taken from a mother you know because she has mild diabetes. If this is the only factor in the case, then you are absolutely right – it is criminal. I am not convinced however, that the number of people involved in the case, would sign off on removal of children simply because their mother has diabetes. If you have any more information on it, I would love to know.

I am truly sorry that you have had your children removed. I know little of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, but what I have read doesn’t seem to warrant social services removing children. I am unsure how it would affect your ability to be a loving parent. I have watched your YouTube videos and found them very informative. I certainly would like to know what justification your local council have for removing your children.

You have implied that now social services have removed your children, they are ‘abusing’ them. Can you give me more details as to what they are doing that constitutes abuse? Social services have to provide care for each and every looked after child, and your accusation of abuse is very serious indeed.

What I find most alarming however is your last paragraph. You state towards the end that you want all adoptive parents to know that you are making a stand and ‘coming for your children’; seemingly waging a war on all adoptive parents, as well as the care system.

Your bitterness towards adopters is misdirected, and your ‘us vs. them’ attitude will serve only to heighten your predicament. As adoptive parents, we know that our children’s birth families are vitally important to their understanding of the world, and why they feel what they do, when they do. Our children’s separation from their birth families opens a chasm of emotional torment, that we can never understand. Their birth parents often hold the key to better quality of life for our children.

By directing your anger towards adoptive families, you are driving a bigger wedge between you and your children. It will prove fundamentally detrimental to your cause, and perhaps create more torment for your children, not less.

Your anger towards social services is understandable, but you do have a blinkered view.

Perhaps you could spare a thought for all the children that social services save? The children whose parents abuse the trust of their own kids, but by some miracle are given a second chance in life. Think of the children who don’t suffer at the hands of their beloved anymore; the Baby Ps and Daniel Pelka’s who don’t make front page headlines because their neglect and suffering is dealt with swiftly.

Good luck with your fight, but let me assure you, it isn’t against me, or any adoptive parent.

Finally, let me say this. In the eyes of the law, the little boy who wanders around my house is my son, in my heart he is my son. More importantly, in his eyes I am his father…

No-one will be taking him away from me.

Please note: I welcome comments from both adopters and birth parents, but I will not approve any comment that is abusive towards either Kellie or myself.

Related posts:

About the Author:

Andrew is an adoptive father, and stay at home dad. Having adopted his son in January 2013, he is a new adoptive parent, but well versed in the adoption process. He is a married, coffee drinker, Xbox addict, and a Marketing graduate. Andrew McDougall is an alias he uses to protect the identity of his adopted son.

Comments (23)

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  1. cheryl corless says:

    you really are so wrong and niave to think social services protect children just search on the internet youl see what kellie is saying is true. more children get abused in the care system and adoption than living at home with their family fact try and google fernbridge elmguesthouse haute de le granne sun sea and satan the list is endless child abuse in care wasnt rare it was the norm and was ignored and expected iv had my children forced adopted coz of abuse i suffered in care coz i may one day emotionally harm them check out the site f.a.s.s.i.t research john hemming iv nowt against my kids adopters but i have let them no and will carry on letting them no by getting my name on google that they are MY CHILDREN I CREATED THEM I NURTED THEM AND LOVED THEM AND THEY WILL COME HOME. I WAS A FORGOTTON FAILED ABUSED CHILD ABUSED IN THE SYSTEM AND BULLIED FOR THE 25 YEARS AFTER TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT

    • Cheryl
      Thanks for the comment. If you base your entire knowledge of a subject on what you read on the internet, I am afraid it is you that is being naive.

      The internet is a very powerful tool and huge resource but remember you only find what you are looking for.

      The care system is by no means perfect, and of course there are examples of foster carers and adopters who have abused their very privilidged positions – indeed they should be taken to task, but I don’t think there is an epidemic of child abuse in the care system, certainly not in this day and age.

      If you want to find out more about the good things that social workers, foster carers and adopters do, then let me know, and I will certainly help, but if you carry on down the path you are on, you might want to prepare yourself for disappointment.

      Good Luck, Andrew
      Andrew McDougall recently posted..Forced adoption? Post response to KellieMy Profile

      • Dear Andrew

        How difficult it must be for adopters to see what actually happens in children’s social care. Adopters can only know what they are shown and told.

        Unlike Kellie, who I do know by the way, and most adopters, I have been in all levels of children’s social care and every level of court and I have done, with others, systematic research on every single Local Authority in England and Wales.

        Frankly the reality is that Children’s Social Care is a criminal monster, one that operates entirely separately in secret from the rest of society and the rest of the law and even a modi-come of accountability.

        Strong words huh? I will put it even stronger and I do this with evidence to the required standard that it happens and it not that rare, you cannot know if the child you have adopted was actually kidnapped and it is the parent and the child that is the victim of a serious crime.

        You will not know that social workers and others run illegal rendition operations.

        You will not know that if police or social workers commit a crime, say perverting the course of justice result in adoption through fraud the authorities will do nothing. That if a parent goes public that the parent will be locked up.

        You will not know that thousands of non uk kids are taken into care here and international law is breached in the vast majority of cases.

        There is far more I could share.

        Here is some of the research just to show you there is far more in the Pandora’s box.

        https://www.academia.edu/5242647/PRESS_RELEASE_and_EXECUTIVE_SUMMARY_THEY_TAKE_YOUR_KIDS_TOO_#1

        Paul

  2. M6 says:

    I found your post very well thought and explained
    As an adopter who has taken over 2 years to finally be matched with my child i can only support that Social Services have to put forward a VERY strong case with many factors involved for any child to be removed.
    I appriciate that it can only be a positive thing that any birth parent feels as passionate about their child as Kellie does and has that fire in them to want to get their birth child back – i only wish that they could find that passion to fight for their child and make the recommended changes to their lifestyle before the children are removed in the firstplace.

    • Hi, thank you for the comment.
      I agree with you. It is good that birth parents want their children back, but sadly they will read and believe what they want to, and the birth parents I have talked to seemingly ignore the positives of adoption.

      I know of children who are being ‘accessed’ by known sex offenders, and social services are still unable to obtain enough evidence to remove them from that risk – absolutely astonishing, but still people think they remove kids from parents willy nilly, without any thought as to the consequences.

      Just so you know – Kellie’s argument about your last point is that her council have based their decision on removing her children on her past actions, and they apparently failed to carry out a core assesment. It certainly sounds like she has a case… but without ALL of the facts, it is hard to know for sure.
      Andrew McDougall recently posted..Forced adoption? Post response to KellieMy Profile

    • How do you know they dont

  3. claire says:

    I know that birth families who lose their children must feel terrible pain and loss, however, I’ve personally not yet come across a social worker who takes their responsibility towards the child’s safety and wellbeing lightly, removing children with no grounds. We all know the system isn’t perfect, but I suspect the truth of the matter in Kellie’s case will be in the details she does not or cannot share – thousands of mums go into hospital or are ill without losing their children. My advice, for what it’s worth, would be for Kellie to set up meetings with her social worker or social services, suspend her own feelings of being victimised and listen to all of the reasons. If she still doesn’t agree then talk to the press, MP etc. However adopters aren’t the problem – social workers would still remove children if they thought them unsafe, even if there were no families to adopt them. Adopters similarly offer a chance at a loving and secure home.

    • Claire
      Thanks for commenting. I agree with you about the social workers. Our son’s social worker and foster carer could not be more ‘human’ about the whole thing. They are both 100% doing what they do because they want children to have better opportunities in life, and out of harms way.

      Like you, I have not met a social worker who doesn’t appreciate the gravitas of the decisions they make.

      Your final point is also bang on. Indeed children are being removed from care at a rate that is quicker than adopters coming forward. And each child in care costs the government an inordinate amount of money, so there is absolutely no reason to remove children unless there is a clear need to.
      Andrew McDougall recently posted..Forced adoption? Post response to KellieMy Profile

  4. Helen says:

    Wow Andrew. Can of worms….. Well handled.

  5. Rv says:

    I am an A&E doctor and I second that children are not snatched willy-nilly from their parents. In fact I’d often argue the contrary. I struggle to get any reaction when children come in with very suspicious injuries and disturbing delays in presentation (children who come in a week after breaking their arm). I’m not sure why there is this idea of a child-stealing conspiracy. Taking a child from their parents, paying for foster care and the court processes is phenomenally expensive compared to leaving a child where it is and adoptive parents don’t pay anything to adopt a child- so what is social services motivation supposed to be?

    I also have Ehler-Danlos myself and whilst it can cause initial investigations into abuse because of the easy bruising it is a commonly known fact about it and any doctor who has ever looked after a child with the condition before (or spends 2 minutes on wikipedia) will be able to point that out. It is difficult to know the whole story of anything from the internet but I suspect things are not that simple.

  6. Dave says:

    I would just like to say the legal process in which a child is removed is a completely separate issue to the legal timescales the drive for child permanence in the 26 week proposed timescales and the making of a placement order to place children with potental adopters . The concerns upon this issue were clearly highlighted in the care inquiry report in April 2013 ordered by the house of commons and compiled by the uk’s leading childrens charities it was entitled Making NOT breaking famiies . I do not think it is Adopters nor the rest of society who are willing or able to confront the agony of the familes in which these children have lost every right to . including siblings grandparents aunts uncles and cousins . I believe that the knowledge of adopters is very limited you know all very well of the adoption law but before that was a process that involved the family and the children this process is hidden in the secret courts so adopters would never be aware of any reasons and specifics any judgements you place your faith in the secret courts and in the hands of local authorities that every decision was clearly justifiable for a child to lose all their rights to their family under the human rights and un conventions of children That the decision to forcibly adopt was made after every avenue had been exhausted and that the adoption was indeed of a last resort . I do not think that adopters study the childrens act of 1989 or the amendmants in the years that followed or the he current and up to date case laws or the recommendations of the government or those who speak out that in fact these family courts are not exactly adhering to fair trial and a forced adoption is a grief without death a punishment without crime . And PLEASE I CANNOT REITERATE ENOUGH FORCED ADOPTION is NOT and I MEAN NOT necessarily linked to CHILD ABUSE forced adoption holds a different dynamic that is the severing of all child rights to his or her natural family and the family to the child when all other avenues have been exhausted when it is only of last resort as stated in uk supreme court and in Europe by the parliamentary assembly . The three most high profiled cases of child abuse this Nation has ever seen as you clearly quoted BABY P , DANIAL PELKA , I will add Victoria Climbie who died from horrendous sustained abuse and were irreversibly failed by the systems geared to protect . NOW THESE CASES ARE CHILD ABUSE CASES NOT ADOPTION CASES . lets get this correct because Baby P fathers quote . ” I saw him lying there in just his nappy he looked asleep I just wanted to pick him up and take him home” Danial Pelkas Father and I quote ” If I knew what Danial was going through at home I would of taken him and raised him in Poland ” Victoria Climbie parents who live in the Ivory coast ” If we knew what was to happen to our little girl we never would of sent her to England “. The point is this none of these children no matter how much they are quoted and used as excuses not one was a contender for a forced adoption these children had families they had family members that would protect them adoption would not of been a last resort if they got sent for an adoption It would of been a First . So this is the crux of it before you believe what you all believe remember you do not know what goes on in those courts you cannot guarantee 100 % that you have a child who through no fault of their own has lost the Basic Human rights of ever having any relationship with their natural family I personally believe this is a form of abuse in itself . I do not think any adopter could clearly define the ACTUAL FACTS of the reasons for a NON CONSENSUAL ADOPTION considering they do not have the court bundles or transcripts or all the evidence YOU ARE TOLD SOMETHING that’s it. A child subjected to witnessing domestic violence does Not constitute losing their entire family does it when their Mother or father was subjected to a crime ?? but that is a reason under the childrens act 1989 . Having a mild learning disability ? a mental health issue ? the reasons are endless . I think this country needs a wake up call and mark my words it will be one of 2 things who expose this system for what it is It will either be parents like Kellie Cottam or if not the parents then the Generation of the UK’S stolen children the parents are standing together in the thousands the natural parents we all stand on mass and we all stand waiting with the truth for our children . and children are only children for such a short time then they grow up and they become free to think to chose to have the right to know the truth and it is sitting waiting on mass . So I don’t come to cause a adopters vs parents I come with this the TRUTH ! AND THAT IS ALWAYS A BITTER PILL FOR ANYONE TO SWALLOW !!

  7. Selene Woods says:

    Hello and HAPPY NEW YEAR, to all…..those who have had children stolen( as have i), or adopters who have entered into adopting and fostering for the right reasons….and not the wrong ones…..

    we need a way of foster carers/adoptive parents, being able to find out the truth about children in their care..(and ways to keep some families, and parents in contact with the child/ren- even after they are fostered/adopted…( especially when there is no proven risk to the child…forced adoption is too final, and adoptions are agreed on by judges and the social services, before the parents even attend court,many go ahead without the scrutiny and second eye of the judge at all- and it seems they will pretty much stamp anything S.S put in front of them……respect to anyone caring for other peoples children as their own, but they are not yours if they are stolen without evidence of abuse or consent from the parents….if a case turns out that a child was removed wrongly, then lets hope they are with the good carer’s and not the bad ones….. there are also a lot of adopters/fosters that are doing it for the money….not the LOVE!…..some councils have even advertised for new foster carers, to come forward in the community, so as to avoid being charged bedroom tax,or as a way to fund their own children’s futures……..or holidays….

    There are, and must be, lots of good foster carers and adopters out there, but while government make becoming a carer so easy ( without good enough checks on the carers themselves, fostering is more profitable than benefits, and covers you from being charged bedroom tax, we will suffer, and our children will suffer as a consequence of greed and now financial need, becoming an attractive enough reason to join the care industry…for evil or noble reasons…..not enough is known by foster carers about all of the children in the care system…and how they really ended up there….the money that the social services are paid is from our taxes as rewards, and is shared out between the s.s managers, the social workers- and Judges/barristers…once an adoption has gone ahead….adoptions do get dragged out for years as well to up the legal costs, and add interest…the LEGAL system we have now is designed to look after itself, not us!
    Judges, solicitors, doctors,people we are supposed to blindly trust and respect, are making thousands of pounds from ignoring our human rights, and damaging our lives on a daily basis….these awards that are handed out to s.s, for finding and adopting all these poor abandoned and abused children, is around £28,000 +per child, and thats before the buisness side of adoption agencies being also run by the state….it is a full blown buisness and has been for years….just we were all so busy being distracted by tv/bills/ego or whatever in our lives to see what is really going on in the world around us! )

    i THINK THAT WE ALL NEED TO BE WORKING TOGETHER ON THIS, AND ALTHOUGH MY OWN LIFE, AND ADOPTION CASE SCREAM ILLEGALITY, I STILL HAVE RESPECT AND FAITH IN “GOOD” POLICE OFFICERS, “GOOD” SOCIAL WORKERS, “GOOD” FOSTER CARERS AND “GOOD” ADOPTIVE PARENTS. UNFORTUNATELY, iT IS A SHAME THAT I HAVE HAD MORE EXPERIENCES TO SUPPORT, THAT THE SYSTEM IS TRULY CORRUPTED….AND THAT HUMAN RIGHTS DON’T EVEN GET ARGUED IN FAMILY COURT, UNLESS YOU ARE REPRESENTING YOURSELF….we might as well live on the flip of a coin, rather than the current family LAW legal sham, at least we would have more chance of coming up with justice…from time to time.
    IT IS TRUE THAT SOCIAL SERVICES ARE REMOVING CHILDREN FOR AS LITTLE AS ” POSSIBLE RISK OF FUTURE EMOTIONAL HARM” …..IT IS ALSO TRUE THAT THE POLICE, SOCIAL SERVICES, LAW SOCIETY-LAWYERS/BARRISTERS AND CORRUPT JUDGES AGREE OUTCOMES WITHOUT CHECKING FOR ANY EVIDENCE OF ABUSE OR NEGLECT….FALSE STATEMENTS ARE USED TO DISCREDIT YOUR CHARACTER….BUT ( AND I CAN ONLY SPEAK FOR MY OWN CASE, AND A FEW OTHERS, I KNOW PERSONALLY OF)CAN AND DO REMOVE CHILDREN ( NORMALLY UNDER THE AGE OF THREE- SO THE CHILD CANNOT SPEAK FOR ITSELF-GETTING THE COURT TO MAKE QUICK DECISIONS ON THE SIDE OF THE S.S REQUEST TO ADOPT-TO AVOID THE CHILD BEING KEPT IN CARE FOR YEARS..) FOR QUICK SCHEME ADOPTIONS…..USING POSSIBLE RISK, RATHER THAN ACTUAL RISK OF HARM- , AND NOT EVEN PHYSICAL HARM, just” POSSIBLE RISK of ??FUTURE EMOTIONAL HARM……!!!!( every human being might be in possible risk of future emotional harm, but all we can do is our best to avoid or manage it?!)
    MY SON WAS STOLEN IN 2005 BY LAMBETH SOCIAL SERVICES…..THEY WROTE UP A WRITTEN AGREEMENT WITHOUT MY CONSENT NOR SIGNATURE, CAUSING A TEMPORARY SEPARATION BETWEEN ME AND MY SON, WHILE my he Spent some time with HIS FATHER IN EAST LONDON, THEN ANOTHER SOCIAL WORKER WENT AND TOOK MY SON FROM HIS COUSINS HOUSE IN EAST LONDON, WHILST HE WAS STILL UNDER THE AGREEMENT WRITTEN UP BY HIS APPOINTED SOCIAL WORKER, BY A DIFFERENT SOCIAL WORKER, THAT THEN PUT MY SON IN FOSTER CARE, STRAIGHT AWAY- THEN UP FOR FORCED ADOPTION….I WAS ACCUSED OF ABANDONMENT- YET NEVER CHARGED, AS IT WAS UNTRUE…he was taken from his father…..NO CHECKS WERE MADE, NOTHING I DID OR SAID MATTERED, MY MUM WHO IS AN EX CIVIL SERVANT WAS NOT EVEN ALLOWED INTO THE COURTROOM….(HE WAS REMOVED FOR QUICK ADOPTION, SUPPOSED TO BE SETTLED/ADOPTED WITHIN 6 MONTHS, BUT WAS LEFT IN CARE FOR FOUR YEARS….IN THE END THE FOSTER CARER WHO HAD HIM FOR THREE YEARS, ADOPTED HIM HERSELF, AFTER THE S.S THREATENED AND TRIED TO REMOVE HIM FROM HER AS WELL…( AFTER SHE QUESTIONED HIS REMOVAL FROM ME, AND QUESTIONED about Two OTHER BABIES BROUGHT TO HER HOUSE, THEN REMOVED JUST AS QUICKLY)
    SHE LUCKILY MANAGED TO GET THE ADOPTION ON MY SON,( as the law says that after 6 months a foster carer has the right to adopt) AND AFTER FINDING OUT FOR HERSELF WHAT WAS GOING ON WAS WRONG, LOST HER JOB AS A FOSTER CARER OF 13 YRS!!!SHE NOW HAS TO PAY BEDROOM TAX ON TWO ROOMS AND IS BEING FORCED BACK TO WORK LATE IN HER LIFE…..SHE IS ALSO SINGLE, AND WITHOUT PROPER SUPPORT.

    HER WHOLE FAMILY HAS BEEN AFFECTED AS WELL, AND I AM LUCKY THAT SHE ALLOWED ME TO ASK FOR A PRIVATE CONTACT AGREEMENT TO SEE MY SON…..I DO SEE HIM NOW- (I DID NOT SEE HIM FOR THREE YEARS because of lambeth Social services)- AND ALL I DID TO END UP WITH HIM BEING PUT ON THE AT RISK REGISTER WAS TO CALL THE POLICE TO REPORT VIOLENCE TOWARD MYSELF, by the father- this was BEFORE THE BABY’S BIRTH)

    Even though i lived alone, and had separated from the father, s.s thought that it wise to keep my son on the at risk register, i agreed, but never realised they were planning to snatch him…..two and a half years i looked after my son,then three years without even knowing where he was, or with any contact…..i BROKE NO LAWS!! I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE HAVING MY SON STOLEN!
    THERE IS A DARK AND SECRET SIDE TO ALL OF THIS…but that doesn’t mean that everyone involved is bad, and at the end of the day, it is the foster parents/adoptive parents, the real parents/ family, and above all else the children that go through the emotional turmoil , so better that WE all do the right thing….and look into this properly!

    I think that if there is no abuse or harm come to the child, yet a forced adoption has gone ahead, then maybe the adopters and birth family might be able to still arrange private contact for the future interest of the child, so at least the child has the right to love and learn from their own family should they wish to do so….identity..and family is important!

    I would love to show you the trickery and illegality of how my son was stolen, you will be shocked that my case even managed to be put in front of a judge…..three in fact, over three years!
    I have committed no crimes, no abuse or neglect, and i have been lied about in these reports…my sons Guardian described my son with brown eyes and blond hair……my son has blue eyes and brown hair (so i wonder how many kids she gets through in court a week? I have been psychologically profiled by a stranger that met me for 15 mins,, and tried to use “a short stay in care i had as myself when a child, used against me to suggest i will possibly harm the emotions of my son in the future, as i also have limited support…and understanding/experience of a normal family structure..!!!

    If you need proof of how they are doing this then please contact me on F.B or selenewoods@gmail.com……

    i am glad to read and be part of such an important debate….and agree that we all need to look into this without judging the families and adopters straight off…we are the ones directly and emotionally involved-and affected…it is we, who have the ultimate responsibility to those children……if government are abusing our trust, and lives, then we must work together to protect all of our futures….it takes a lot of trust, but i have LOTS…(it made me vulnerable before! this time it will pay off for me and my family, instead of put ill gained profit in the back pocket of corruption again)

    with TRUST,comes RESPECT,with RESPECT comes true LOVE…….SELENE WOODS

  8. Dave says:

    A child will always want to know which tree they belong to which tree they were carved from which home the were taken from .You stated ” Our children ” children are not possessions or commodities they are Humans with rights . and its the natural families who are fighting for them as no one else is willing or able to acknowledge them . And children’s rights are important the children have no voice do they ??? But they will do one day and that is why this is current situation of the secret family courts and the child protection system which is no secret is failing as of recent Ofsted reports . I do not speak for anyone but only for the children ,where is the money ?? Adoption and fostering agencies are in the private business sector they have an industry of billions . one was recently sold for 175 million . Even Bob Geldof has spoken out on the business involved . You hit the nail on the head when you said Adopters get no money for a child they do not get paid !! No your right they don’t the Adoption agency does though around 48.000 per child from the tax payer . It costs on average 36,000 a year to the tax payer to keep a child in care enough to send children to a private boarding school for a year , you should read the attainment targets met statistics for looked after children in education that will shock you. The children’s foster and care homes the adoption and fostering agencies all private business all sit with huge assets read their financial year and their profits from the tax payer children make money in the industry and lots of it , If tax payers money was to go on Parents to support families to stay together and 36,000 per year per child would change the lives of all families what would happen if it genuinely got spent on keeping those families together ? EXACTLY THAT it would get Spent swallowed up ! But it sits as the core assets in the private business sector accounts and our economy is based on the core assets of the Private business sector in Britain right ?? because like you say you don’t get paid a penny.

  9. Dave says:

    I only speak the truth and nothing I say cannot be evidenced I speak the truth for the lost children . Over 4000 children are waiting to be placed for adoption Neither Natural Parents OR Adopters can honestly say all avenues for these children have been exhausted and adoption is of a last resort to breach their rights to their own family and identity that all else has been tried and failed . I believe only a small percentage roughly around 200 children a year according to the released statistics were actual consented to adoptions in the UK . The government only began to release the statistics for looked after children in 2006 so there are only figures availiable to the situation for the last 7 years . There was a huge rise in 2006 of children taken from families the knee jerk reaction from the Baby p scandal in 2006 the percentage of looked after children returning to their parents was 8.5 percent each year saw a 0.5 percent decrease . Is this planned business acumen ? I do not believe that way forward is to create a void but the insult of the current adoption situation to the natural families is quite plain to see . and to the child well its exploitation of the most vulnerable . I Am a parent and I cannot entertain any form of child abuse I believe that it is criminal and is where the punishment lies in the criminal courts . I cannot entertain parents who choose alcohol and drugs over their own children . But I cannot entertain a system which decides a childs permanent legal status on a 26 week timescale a system which drives adoption as a first resort Not last breaching the fundamental rights of humans I cannot entertain natural families losing children on linear social work assessments based on future potential possible maybe harm and parents needing to prove a years alternate functioning which wont meet the 26 timescales to permanence or the assessments of parents needing treatment and lengths of treatment when the social workers have no clinical expertise to do so . It is not tolerated in employment law under the DDA . I cannot entertain a judicial system in which justice is never seen to be done and I cannot entertain that the winners the true winners are the barristers the solicitors the judges the local authorities the private business sector . The ones left devastated the parents the ones left to pick up the pieces the adopters and the ones who truly lose every right they were born with the CHILDREN and for that reason I don’t care what the adults say I want to see our nations children protected from abuse whoever the hell its from. these children have rights and they need protecting .

  10. Dave says:

    Every looked after child in thE uK OF suitable ADOPTION age is planned for adoption EVERY CHILD regardless of any circumstance they are automatically planned for an Adoption the child has no say in the matter . which leads me to Sibling groups imagine 3 children in care aged 4 aged 11 and aged 12 one of these children will automatically be planned for an adoption the older siblings wont so this not only breaks the important bond of siblings but leaves one child to go it alone it now leaves all 3 grieving for their losses children and are made to say goodbye to their own brothers and sisters and adopters and foster carers wonder why these kids are messed up and there is a nasty unfounded habit of blaming this system on families when all they have done is fight with all odds stacked against them in the secret courts to bring them home to stop this happening . and what happens to the older siblings ?? well they get left as collateral damage in the private business sector of the fostering and care homes that’s what happens . I think this is discusting I think the whole system needs destroying and rewriting preferably acknowledging child rights and preferably with justice being seen to be done .

  11. Dave says:

    What is a Birth Mother can you please define because a 4 year old taken from a Mother who calls her mummy who knows this is her mummy who was fed by her mummy who was nurtured and cared for kissed cuddled loved and attached to like no other the bond of a mother and child is a gift of god something a childless woman will never understand a love so deep it is sacred it is amazing it is beautiful can you tell me why you feel the need to minimalise this please . Adopters may have a emotional bond but that bond was created in a court and in a legal document it is not the natural law it is not the sacred law of god it is of legal fiction . A birth Mother is a name to justify to explain your status not the real status you are adopters borrowing a childhood never will you compete with the families in which these children were carved the blood that runs is the families blood . It is alive it is flowing it will always be there Birth mother no always the mother always because that was written by god and no man can change that only in their minds . You maybe the legal given family we are the god given family never make that a competition . You cant hide from the truth

  12. fifi says:

    I absolutely disagree with the adopters.. Im sorry but you are to blame if you have adopted a child knowingly of the fact it was a forced adoption.. the child was not given up (snatched)I dont have kids that havebeen forced adopted,, but do have first hand knowledge experience of Social services lies & the unlawfull closed family courts.. I have had to watch my childs soul break as she has begged and screamed and pleaded with me to just take her home.. phone calls off my children desperate to come home.. I had recorded proof of all these which proved ss bull that my kids was happy and didnt want come home was a lie yetthis evidence was ignored when they should be arrested for purgery.. Anyone that can watch a child emotionally suffer past breaking point like that and continue to deny them there basic rights to a loving mother has something seriously wrong with them.. These people tried to stop me seeing my children and told my children i didnt want or love them anymore.. I made sure my children was put straight My children have fought to come home even had to be dragged away by police.. Subjecting children to this is most certainly not in the childs best interest.. Im sure their are a few children that genuinely was given up and needed new homes but to anyone who has adopted a child knowing it was forced. I hope that child abandons you for life when they find out

  13. fifi says:

    also Andrew you quote to Cheryl corless that “If you base your entire knowledge of a subject on what you read on the internet, I am afraid it is you that is being naive.” .. But arnt you doing exactly the same thing by basing yours on just what SS and corrupt family courts write on a piece of paper for you???
    Also Cheryl offers the knowledge not what shes read on the internet but from first hand personally experiences & also I the same, & i have been through the care system myself as a child also..
    I dont want to seem rude but a lot of adopters dont like to hear the facts that these children shouldnt been forced out as it makes it easier on their concience to just live in a bubble they was doing the right thing. when really they just wanted a kid, like a new toy

  14. sheila says:

    dear andrew
    not to upset you but your son will eventually wander and want to know his birth parents adopted children even when not told always know there’s something missing and you would be nieve to think otherwise but to address the above issues social services often remove children then get a court order retrospectivly fact I have known this happen often they were origionally set up to help families this no longer happens I have seen social services from many sides I was placed into care by my birth mother age 3 I was abused in said care setting ie. belted for wetting the bed my father rescued me later after he remarried I was an abused child dispite my brothers going into care I was left behind although due to my previous experience better the devil i knew my 2 brothers in care 1 was used by his foster carers as a gofa for their disabled daughter u know get me this get me that my younger brother was in a care home where he was taught by staff to steal by order later in life i had involvement and lost my daughter for 1yr i fought to get her back and won and had the care order revoked the social worker involved in this often made sexual comments towards me ie you look sexy like that etc. I had him removed later i met some one and he had ss involvement just because he had epilepsy it was the previous social worker who went on to have him work for him at his home ie. odd jobs etc.Later in life I got a job as a residential social worker where the real social workers would drop off their clients and tell us to do their assesments bearing in mind our job title was name only and they were being paid for this we also had to twist their arms just to get them to visit their clients there was 1 young girl who had learning difficulties and she bit her babies nail a little too far down[she was afraid to use scissors]and the social worker came bounding in wanting to remove the child on the spot we as staff managed to talk him down. Now I have an asd child in care because of something he did but he is being abused in there simply because the staff are not trained to deal with asd but no one listens we are now taking it further useing the mental health act dda and human rights act as the social worker claims it aint a child protection issue yet if it was at home they would be in taking him. I rang ss this time and I wish I never had my husband and son were made to live in our caravan for 1wk in december both of whom are disabled i then had to borrow a hse for another 3wks because ss couldn’t be bothered then my son was put out to tender to the lowest bidder which by the way was 5 grand per wk had they ploughed that kind of money into his education we may not be in this situation all the way through this process we were lied to abused and threatened and i was the 1 who rang them never again. as for the baby p’s of this world real abused kids don’t get removed hence the headlines because people like yourself[no detriment to you] prefer perfect kids to adopt you don’t want alcohol syndrome kids or drug dependent kids or kids that are really emotionally scared these kids cost too much to put right and therefore not saleable[not suggesting you have paid for 1]

  15. Thank you all for your comments. Needless to say I don’t agree with all you have said, but I do believe we have the right to free speech. You also have the right to use punctuation, so please consider it in future, it might make what you have to say a little more legible.

    Anyway, this melee has distracted enough from the aim of my site, so I won’t be publishing any more comments on this post now, but again, thanks for your contributions.

    Andrew
    Andrew McDougall recently posted..UK adoption: Are adopters too sensitive?My Profile