Kellie took the time to provide a comment on one of my posts here. Having investigated a little bit, I found out that Kellie is subject to a court order apparently preventing her from speaking about the removal of her children from her care.
She is diligently looking to expose her situation to the wider public and make people aware of what she calls ‘forced adoption’.
In her comment to me she has implied that adopters are part of the problem with forced adoption, and as she has declared war on social services, we as adopters, are also firmly in her crosshairs.
I do not have all the facts of her case, and can provide no insight as to the truth behind her case. I can and have, however, taken exception to her targeting adopters as potential scapegoats for the removal of her children.
Thank you for your comment, it is nice to see a birth mother comment on my site rather than an adopter. I do however feel the need to address some of your comments.
First of all, I am not sure why you are concerned about the amount of sites that support adopters? That is like saying there are too many hospitals. What may be of more concern is the lack of sites that are aimed at birth mothers, and I would actively encourage people like yourself to set up blogs and websites that can help and support birth mothers/parents/families.
You are right about abuse and children in care – it is very rare. I can assure you however, that adoptive parents are made acutely aware of this fact from the very beginning of the adoption process. We have access to a litany of resources that help us understand how and why children end up in the care system.
You mentioned that social services are ‘out of control’. Social services do not consist of a horde of child catchers desperate to separate children from their loved ones. They are individuals tasked with an incredibly difficult job to provide care for our most vulnerable citizens – our children. I wonder if you are fully aware of what it takes to remove children from their homes? I suspect you don’t fully understand how complex and difficult it is to raise a case for removing a child.
You will be aware of course, of Baby P, and Daniel Pelka, both of whom died as a result of NOT being taken into care. Social services have to provide a judge with a water tight case to remove children, and the process is littered with red tape – so much so – that every so often a child will die as a result. Social services are most certainly not out of control, they are faced with heart breaking decisions every day, decisions that you and I cannot possibly fathom completely.
You have stated that children were taken from a mother you know because she has mild diabetes. If this is the only factor in the case, then you are absolutely right – it is criminal. I am not convinced however, that the number of people involved in the case, would sign off on removal of children simply because their mother has diabetes. If you have any more information on it, I would love to know.
I am truly sorry that you have had your children removed. I know little of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, but what I have read doesn’t seem to warrant social services removing children. I am unsure how it would affect your ability to be a loving parent. I have watched your YouTube videos and found them very informative. I certainly would like to know what justification your local council have for removing your children.
You have implied that now social services have removed your children, they are ‘abusing’ them. Can you give me more details as to what they are doing that constitutes abuse? Social services have to provide care for each and every looked after child, and your accusation of abuse is very serious indeed.
What I find most alarming however is your last paragraph. You state towards the end that you want all adoptive parents to know that you are making a stand and ‘coming for your children’; seemingly waging a war on all adoptive parents, as well as the care system.
Your bitterness towards adopters is misdirected, and your ‘us vs. them’ attitude will serve only to heighten your predicament. As adoptive parents, we know that our children’s birth families are vitally important to their understanding of the world, and why they feel what they do, when they do. Our children’s separation from their birth families opens a chasm of emotional torment, that we can never understand. Their birth parents often hold the key to better quality of life for our children.
By directing your anger towards adoptive families, you are driving a bigger wedge between you and your children. It will prove fundamentally detrimental to your cause, and perhaps create more torment for your children, not less.
Your anger towards social services is understandable, but you do have a blinkered view.
Perhaps you could spare a thought for all the children that social services save? The children whose parents abuse the trust of their own kids, but by some miracle are given a second chance in life. Think of the children who don’t suffer at the hands of their beloved anymore; the Baby Ps and Daniel Pelka’s who don’t make front page headlines because their neglect and suffering is dealt with swiftly.
Good luck with your fight, but let me assure you, it isn’t against me, or any adoptive parent.
Finally, let me say this. In the eyes of the law, the little boy who wanders around my house is my son, in my heart he is my son. More importantly, in his eyes I am his father…
No-one will be taking him away from me.
Please note: I welcome comments from both adopters and birth parents, but I will not approve any comment that is abusive towards either Kellie or myself.