Stay at home, Dad
I am a believer in equality, though I am not exactly the UKs premier aficionado on the subject. You won’t find me shouting badly versed chants down Westminster in some kind of misplaced act of defiance. However, if Emmeline Pankhurst was on twitter, I would probably follow her.
With our adoption reaching its precipice of excitement and anxiety, now is the time to ‘fess up, that our little dynamic world involves me being the primary carer for our son. I am to be a stay at home dad.
2013 sees me join the ranks of the growing army of father’s looking to forgo the traditional bread-winning roles of men, and push back the boundaries of equality; home make in a society that is open and forgiving.
Strange then, that some people continue to view me through cynical and judgmental eyes; my apparent lack of ambition illustrates the apathy that my generation is currently presenting.
Lacking ambition? It has shifted course, but what could be more ambitious than raising a child? At a time when his young brain is being moulded, and he soaks up his world like a fresh sponge, I can give no greater gift than that of my time.
This year is not a gap in my CV, it is my crowning glory as a father.
With this in mind, the blog has evolved to that effect. It will begin to demonstrate, not that of becoming a father, but actually being a father; living it, buying the cap, and wearing the tee shirt.
I pause for thought at this junction though. Many people who have followed me have done so, because they share the anguish my wife and I experienced in getting to this point. To start writing as a father is not an intention to gloat. It is an opportunity to document me becoming a father, to share my education as I experience it, and to communicate specifically what it is to be an adoptive parent.
So onwards into a brave new world, a world where I am a kept man, but a happy one. Onwards to cooking, cleaning, and pinny-wearing glory.
I think Emmeline would be proud.
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About the Author: Andrew McDougall
Andrew is an adoptive father, and stay at home dad. Having adopted his son in January 2013, he is a new adoptive parent, but well versed in the adoption process. He is a married, coffee drinker, Xbox addict, and a graduate of Marketing. Andrew McDougall is an alias he uses to protect the identity of his adopted son. Comments (10)
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Sites That Link to this Post
- Adoptive families include Grandma and Grandpa | theonehandman | March 8, 2013
As one who (over the course of reading your blog) has gone through the uncertainty and then very recently discovered the pain it is to be told that as a couple you will never conceive your own child, your story has given me solidarity and above all, hope. It has been a joy and a privilege to read and I look forward to continuing to do so as you develop in your new, wonderful role. And you’re damn right – raising a child and giving them your time is more important than anything. Your perspective is excellent, props to you.
Considerer recently posted..Eaten by the bear.
Wow, what a lovely comment. It is great to hear that this has actually helped people, and am genuinely humbled by responses like this. I wish you all the best, many thanks
One of the things I’ve found hardest is not having many people with similar unfortunate experiences to share, so feeling a bit isolated and rather out on a limb. For our situation particularly, your blog has provided a great source of information and insight. I’m hugely glad it was recommended to us by friends.
Considerer recently posted..A new kind of normal
Those that view cynically have no idea of the enormity of the job you are commencing and the importance it will hold in the life of your child. I’m pretty certain that the cap fits well, as does the t-shirt, because you show the required amount of consideration and thought that this job requires, amongst other things. Don’t forget you can always lock yourself in the bathroom sobbing “what have I done” if all else fails. I used to.
Thanks for joining in the Weekly Adoption Shout Out
Sarah Hill recently posted..#SilentSunday 3/2/13
Thank you very much, i haven’t locked myself in the bathroom yet, but I have scratched my head a few times already.
I too agree with Eaten by the bear. I came across this blog (via Lisa and Dave Hall) just as I was having major surgery which unfortunately results in us never being able to have children of our own.
Your blog hasn’t filled me with envy or did I for one moment thought you were gloating. You did however help with us lots of information sorting both official and emotionally.
Thank you for sharing and we look forward to continuing to read your journey.
Dizzy
Thanks Leanne, again, I am delighted that this has helped you, and I will of course continue to share my insights, however useful they are. Lisa has been a huge support for us, and with people like her, it makes the whole thing a lot easier.
I for one am glad this blog is transforming from one about infertility/adoption to actual fatherhood!
Raising a child is hard work. It’s easy to dismiss comments about the difficulties of raising a child when you’re in the emotional state of being willing to give anything to even have one. But you having been there can be a good reminder that just because we struggled so hard to finally have a child, doesn’t mean raising the child will be easier than anyone else.
I look forward to reading this blog as the story continues, and all of what the future has in store for your family.
ivfmale recently posted..Balls!
Well that is reassuring thank you, I am nervous about upsetting some loyal readers, but as with life I suppose things must evolve. Appreciate the comment – thanks.